Jokes

[pattrose]

* A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?"
* How does an octopus go into battle? Well-armed.
* What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.
* Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
* A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
* How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
* I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
* What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
* What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
* Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it's just water.
* What do call a criminal landing an airplane? Condescending.
* Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
* Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
* What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don't hate me because I'm a little cooler.
* Did you hear about the fragile myth? It was busted.
* I can always tell when someone is lying. I can tell when they're standing too.
* Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken.
* What did the dirt say to the rain? If you keep this up, my name will be mud!
* Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals.