I'm back. This is a rant, you might want to skip it.

[pattrose]

Well, my brother wasn't exaggerating about my mom. She's very frail and weak. Can hardly get around without help. And her memory is slipping very quickly. Too bad she didn't forget how to be cruel. I never say too much about my mom because she's an odd duck. She had six boys and two girls and only liked the boys. She's never been nice to me or my sister. But I hoped as she got older and more feeble minded she would change. Not so. It's the opposite. She seems even meaner now. She told me I was so lucky to have my husband stay with me because I'm so fat. And yes, she said it like that. I tried to not let anything she said bother me, but it does. My sister has stopped going over to her house and now I understand why. She told me if I would only dress nicer and wear decent shoes I could possibly look somewhat better. I told her that Rod and I don't love each other because of how we look. We love each other because we're best friends and more. She started to say more but I went into my room before I said something hateful to her. Which I don't want to do. With my luck it would be the one thing she remembered. My older brother Joe was in the room and just sat there not knowing what to say. And then there is the matter of Joe. He helps Dan take care of mom and everything and that's great, but she thinks he's a saint. Believe me, he's not. And it's St. Joe this and St. Joe that. Dan's been taking care of her for years, and does she mention him? I think not. He's so good to her. WAtches two hours of tv that she likes with her every evening and spends time with her, but there is only Joe right now. Okay, I'm done bitching. I just wanted to say that I'm back and she isn't doing really well. But at this point I don't see myself going again for a year. It's sad, but something that happens. Thanks for listening.

Hugs, Patt

Comments

[t-verano.livejournal.com]

[coming in the door a bit late here]

What a difficult situation; it sounds nearly impossible. (And why am I surprised, still -- I've seen before that the nicest and most wonderful people -- like you -- can come out of environments that have tried to flatten them, which it surely sounds like your mom is way too good at.)

I will never understand why people do this kind of undermining and belittling, and I'm so sorry that your mom seems to be able to offer only that to you and your sister (and to not even be able to be somewhat fair to your brother who's taking care of her).

all the hugs in the world -- and hopes that you can hold on to the truth that you are an amazing and dear and much loved person -- THAT is reality, not your mom's twisted take on things.

[pattrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your kind words. They help, believe me. I don't know what I would do without all of you. :)